Helen van Rijs
Humanist Funeral Celebrant
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About Me
How it Works
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Helen van Rijs
Humanist Funeral Celebrant
Home
About Me
How it Works
Testimonials
Poems
Contact
More
  • Home
  • About Me
  • How it Works
  • Testimonials
  • Poems
  • Contact

  • Home
  • About Me
  • How it Works
  • Testimonials
  • Poems
  • Contact

How to Prepare

Here are a few things to think about prior to our meeting:

MEMORIES AND ANECDOTES

As memories come to mind make a note these so they can be incorporated into the Life Story or separate Tributes.

CEREMONY STRUCTURE 


Music

Are there particular pieces of music you’d like to include? This could be recorded tracks or live music performed by a friend or family member.

Life Story (Eulogy)

If you would like me to, I can write and deliver their Life Story. If so I will interview you for this information - see below.

Tributes 

Would anyone like to speak during the ceremony or alternatively write a Tribute which I share on their behalf.

Poetry and Readings

Would you like to include one or two poems or readings? You can refer to my Poems Library.

Visuals

Would you like to include a photo slideshow, either played silently on loop throughout or played once set to music? Crematoriums include a single photo as standard.

Quiet Reflection

Would you like to include a period of reflection - either accompanied by gentle music, or in silence? If appropriate, I can invite those who hold a faith to use this time for silent prayer.

CHARACTER 

To help create a ceremony to suit their personality:

  • What will you miss most about them?
  • If they had children, what sort of parent were they /  memories from their childhood?
  • What were they passionate about?
  • How do you think they would they like to be remembered?
  • Where do you picture them clearly?
  • What made them happy / laugh / sense of humour?
  • What made them angry?
  • What were they proud of?
  • Any particular phrases or approaches to life that are typical? Catchphrases?
  • How would other people describe them?
  • Friends / important people to mention?
  • Common thread or words used in condolence cards?

SUMMARY

My last question is always 'what words would you use to summarise them?' i.e. If you were to describe them in 3 or 4 words, what comes to mind?

LIFE STORY - BIOGRAPHICAL DETAILS

If you would like me to write a Life Story (Eulogy), the last part of our meeting will be spent talking through this type of information:


  • I'll work through a family tree so parents, siblings, children and other important family members are documented. This also helps to map the timeline of their life.
  • What was home life like for them as a child.
  • Are there any stories from their youth.
  • Schooling: where did they go? Were there any particular subjects that they enjoyed or excelled at.
  • Any significant life partners (husband, wife, partner…)
  • Where did they live (towns, etc.)
  • Work / career / achievements / retirement.
  • Interests / activities / hobbies.
  • Musical / Literary tastes.
  • TV / film / theatre.
  • Where did they like to go on holiday/travel.
  • What was a typical day in their life like.
  • Any pets / animals.

Ceremony Types

Funerals

Ceremonies on the day

Ceremonies on the day

 Held on the day of the cremation or burial with the ceremony held at the crematorium or graveside. 

Ceremonies on the day

Ceremonies on the day

Ceremonies on the day

Some families prefer to have a ceremony away from the Crematorium or Burial Ground. These can be held anywhere and are much more of a full memorial but can have the coffin in place if wanted.

After this ceremony the coffin can be taken for either a direct cremation with no one in attendance or a much smaller, private ceremony at the crematorium or graveside.

Memorials

Ceremonies on the day

Ash Scattering\Burial

Memorials can be held on a later date with the ashes in place if wanted. These can be a longer and fuller ceremony and an opportunity to have a larger amount of people come together in a more personal space without time pressures. These can be held in any venue and followed by refreshments.

Ash Scattering\Burial

Ceremonies on the day

Ash Scattering\Burial

At a later date families may want a short ceremony when ashes are either scattered or buried. These are held at the final resting place of their loved one.

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